Coming
back to the workplace made me feel extremely exhausted in the first
month after my confinement. Thanks
to still-fluctuating hormones, my
mood swings once in awhile and I
was easily
agitated by small things.
As
a perfectionist, frankly speaking,
I want everything come into the perfect manner, that is, parenting to
me is not an easy task in terms of following the development of
child’s psychology. I think I am lucky enough to have a background
of science in psychology to deal with this difficulties yet it is
still not piece of cake. I also appreciate that there are supportive
colleagues and superiors who helped me to pass through this difficult
time.
Throughout
the process of motherhood, I am learning how to do my best instead of
wanting everything to be smooth and perfect.
Knowing
some of my colleagues are going to deliver their precious one, I am
here to share some of the survival tips with you....
1.
Involve your spouse
Do
not be too possessive and too perfect. Make sure you
give a chance to your baby's father to get involve in the feeding and
care from the beginning. It is good if you get someone to share the
“happiness burden” with you. In this process, you might feel
unsatisfied
with your partner's way
of doing things yet always remember that he is in the process of
learning as well. Sit
down and communicate
especially
in terms of the “do's and don'ts” in caring a baby.
2.Make
time for yourself
It
is not easy to manage the work and taking care of a baby at the same
time. Being a new working parent can be extremely stressful. What if
you need some “alone” time? However, you must have some personal
time for yourself in order to recharge yourself. Do have your partner
to watch over your baby while you need to have a tea or coffee with
friends and colleagues. It is important to be part of a social
network and get new friends who are also working mothers so that you
will get more external support. At least, you will find that you are
not alone in this situation. One of the tips to make sure you care
for yourself is identify at least three things that you must do in a
week; for example shopping, spending 5-10 minutes in a hot tub,
facial and massages, expanding hobbies and so on. Schedule them in
your calendar every week.
3.
Set a proper routine with your little one during the first few months
It
is very important to give full
attention
to
your baby for the first few months because infant needs the sense of
security (especially
the first two months).
Babies
learn to feel either secure or insecure in the world based on the
relationships they have with the people who care for them.
Keep
changing their routine will make them confuse. Routines
can help your baby to feel secure, being
responsive to your
baby
will not spoiled
them yet, it
will promote
a better
attachment
between you and your baby. Babies
only will show their
“Cheeky smile” when they reach almost 7 months old and above.
Bedtime routine is important for a
baby
and there are advantages to get
your baby to his or her bed at the same time each evening. Switch off
the light and on the dim light or light music, let them learn that it
is time to sleep. You
may tell your
baby
a bedtime story, massage or change pyjamas everytime before you put
them to sleep. Once
they
have slept,
you can rest at the same time. Lack
of sleep can
be a major
cause
of depression and you could not perform in the workplace.
4.
Remind yourself you do not need to be a perfect parent.
Once
again, it is normal if you have done some mistakes when you are
taking care of your baby. Learning from mistakes is a part of the
gift in parenting life, as the mother and child are going through a
process which enables them to learn more about each other. Mistakes
can help your children to learn to get back and keep trying. “Do
not give up” is one of the essential value a parent should convey
to a child. Through the misstep that has been taken, a child will be
more confident to stand up and go forward if the difficult feeling is
coming towards them. Give yourself and your baby more space to learn.
Hopefully
this four tips are helpful for you to cope with your work and your
baby. Enjoy parenting!
Prepared by,
Xing Jiun Chew
Senior Counselor, Lecturer
Vision College
